"it's coming down to nothing more than apathy..."

Ever since I got home from Memphis Thursday, I've been in such a terrible mood. Not that going there put me in a bad mood, because I loved it. Maybe the realization that I have to stay here for another few months? I don't know.

I'm completely apathetic to mostly everything right now. I don't care about school - I don't care to finish my criminal profile paper and I don't care about the consequences if I don't finish it. I don't care about decisions that are being made in my organizations - just send me the email and I'll do what everyone has decided.

I don't care about how I dress or how I look (I haven't been working out at all. Or eating healthy). I don't care if I get in a relationship soon or not.



Basically...

I don't care.

And that's a terrible way to think. I hate myself for it. I know I need to change. Don't get me wrong - I'm still a positive person. I still see good in people and I still love my family and friends. But aside from that, I'm completely disconnected from everything.

Normally, I'm the person who needs to make all the decisions and have things go my way. But in the past few days I've given up that need. I'd much rather be at home with my cats (hello crazy cat lady!) and play video games or read.


Maybe it's just PMS. Actually, it probably is. Because I am feeling tired too and crampy.


But if it isn't... any advice? How can I start caring again? Or how can I start to care about caring?